Hold Me Close
by Mywandisbiggerthanyours
Summary: Dean likes to deny that he loves hugs - but Sam can see straight through him. Wincest, fluff. (repost)


_Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Kripke and WB. I wish I had any rights to it but I don't… definitely not earning any money from this._

_Summary: As much as Dean may deny it, he loves hugs – especially from the person he loves more than anything in the world – Sammy. Wincest, Fluff_

As much as he tried to deny it Dean was a cuddler, a hug-whore, whatever the fuck you wanted to call him. He loved hugs, especially the ones that came from the person that mattered most to him; his Sammy.

At first as he grew up, hugs were comfort and love and perfect from a loving Mary Winchester and then she died in Sam's nursery and Dean was forced to grow up to fast and become mother, father, brother and best friend to his little brother; he resented Sam for that at the beginning, at least until Sam was old enough to hug him back, his skinny little arms wrapping tight around Dean and the little squeeze he always gave at the end as they drew away from each other, told Dean all he needed to know without any words from Sam.

Slowly the hugs him and Sam shared became their only way of communicating their feelings for each other around a man who saw feelings as a weakness after Mary died. As Dean grew up even more and his motto of "no chick-flick moments" became a cemented part of their brotherly interactions as much as "bitch" and "jerk" the hugs were spontaneous crushes of one brother's body against the other with no explanation before or after and for both Sam and Dean, no explanation was ever needed for the hugs; they just meant "I love you" or "I missed you" or "I need you" or "I'm hurting", all things John Winchester had drilled in his boys as wrong and unmanly from a young age.

As Dean matured more and started his incredibly long string of one-night stands he had to resist pulling the random woman of the night closer post-coitus and sleeping wrapped around them; it would give them the wrong impression. Instead he forced himself to pull his weary body from the bed of the night and head back to the crappy motel room and his dad and/or brother.

Then Sam left for Stanford and Dean lost his regular random hugs from the only family member, still alive, that loved him to the same extent that he loved them. Those three and a half years were the worst of Dean's life, stuck doing a job he had only carried on to protect Sammy, with a man – his father – who treated him as his personal slave/soldier in his war against every-fucking-thing except the thing that had actually killed Mary.

When he finally got Sam back their hugs seemed to have gone forever, the hello hug from Sam was brief and cold and over those first two years back together the hugs were only "thank god you're alive hugs", no hugs for the simple pleasure of touching one another again, it seemed to be something that Sam didn't want to get near with a ten-foot pole. Dean's hug 'quota' from Sam almost stayed the same as the three years before – few and far between.

Then Sam died and came back to life and Dean felt like maybe this wold change everything, but it merely started a cycle of "welcome back from death" hugs as over the next seven years the brothers died one after the other. The hugs seemed to always have that desperate, uncontrollable "don't ever do that again" vibe. There were no longer any random "I just wanted to hold you today" hugs and that was what Dean missed the most about 'before Stanford' – not the simple predictably of the regular 'boring' hunts and certainly not his father.

He missed his Sammy.

Suddenly everything changed again and Dean got his – secretly – beloved hugs back. The trials had changed most things and had nearly destroyed Sam, but they finally started to repair the brothers bond – a relationship that had started to crack and splinter when Sam left for Stanford. When Dean chose Sam over everything that finally seemed to cement in Sam's mind that everything was going to be okay between them again.

That's when Dean's almost daily hugs started again. He knew Kevin and Charlie, who was now living with them in the bunker, had both noticed and were avoiding mentioning the odd sight of walking in on Sam plastered against Dean's back as he cooked them all breakfast or Sam curled up on the sofa, his head in Dean's lap as they watched a Star Wars marathon. The one that freaked Kevin out the most was walking in to the bathroom to the sight of Sam and Dean pressed together, it wouldn't have been that unusual except Dean was stark naked because he had just vacated the shower and Sam was only in jeans because he had been about to take Dean's place.

Okay, so maybe Dean had to admit that the nature of their hugs may have changed from the chubby 12 year old hugging him to celebrate a good grade or successful science project or something equally geeky.

At first Dean had just figured that now they were older the hugs had just changed slightly, they had always been close – practically living in each other's pockets, he assumed that nothing substantial was different… until the sleeping incident.

Up to then Dean had started to pay closer attention to Sam and had certainly noticed his eyes sweeping Dean's body a few times… denial is a great thing, Dean thought, as he told himself it was just Sam checking that Dean was okay.

Then one night, a naked Dean woke to find Sam had entered his room sometime during the night and was now pressed up all against his front, wearing only a pair of boxers, his ass grinding up into Dean's now very awake crotch. As Dean became more aware he realised that whilst one of his arms was lying innocuously under his head, the other was wrapped tightly around Sam's bare waist, clutching at his furthest hip bone and pulling him as close into Dean's chest as possible.

When Sam moaned softly in his sleep and rolled his hips back into Dean's, Dean couldn't contain the strained, rather loud groan that rumbled from his chest as Sam pressed back into Dean's inappropriately hard cock.

Dean didn't know how it happened; one minute he was improperly and guiltily draped over and around Sam and the next they were both sprawled naked and completely satisfied next to each other, their relationship changed forever.

By the time Sam was completely healed and Ezekiel had left the brothers to themselves, their relationship was solid and steady and Dean had decided he had a new favourite hug; the one he got almost every night from Sam, when they were both sated and sweaty and Sam's was ready to pass out from the mind-blowing orgasm Dean had just given him, when Sammy wrapped his whole body around Dean's, letting his love pour through where they touched and fell asleep draped all over Dean; that was his favourite hug.

So, yes Dean may deny loving hugs, but boy did Sam see straight through his act.


End file.
